The jumble sale we call life.

Well, it only took two years & a pointless new years resolution, but i'm back. Let's try this blogging malarkey again!

So to begin? The nitty gritty?

Over the last year or so, my life has changed dramatically! Oh, i'm 23 now & finished education way back, so forget anything on the about me page, just in case you were feeling dangerous & wanted to delve into this a little deeper!

In the time in which I forgot all about this blog, I finished college, changed jobs, moved out and became a legal guardian. All things in which I would never have seen happening back at the start of 2015, that's for sure!

Due to many of these changes, naturally, (& if you're as dramatic as I am!) I have had every emotion known to man - so, i'd like to share some of the knowledge I've learnt & advice I have received in the form of five steps. Hopefully they'll help or at least make you smile.

I appreciate this entry could be long, you may even get the idea of rubbing amphetamines in your gums just to get to the end but - just go with it?

STEP ONE - Stop Comparing!

As someone that has suffered first hand with anxiety & confidence issues. I know full well what it's like to question my own life choices against everyone else's. We live in a society where we are expected to outdo every other person. We question ourselves on whether our lives are shaped to how they should be. I mean that Jim on facebook, he's out there bungee jumping in a tutu, having the time of his life & that Sue has just had a baby, settled down & got a porch swing. Maybe our lives should be a little more like theirs?! Or maybe, we should just stop being drawn into the idea that everyone else's lives are as miraculous as they seem. It's rose-tinted glasses folks.

Everyone & anyone has their own personal issues, their own hang ups & their own demons. We see what people want us to see, so don't let that be your focus. Let your focus be you, stop comparing yourself to others..Why? because you alone are good enough & your life will work out in whatever way you wish it to, so don't be worrying about Sues' porch swing. 

Make your life what you want it to be. 

STEP TWO - Find Your Passions!

As we get older, we lose sight of the things we enjoy as much. We get up, we go to work/school/uni, we tire ourselves with daily routines & live for the weekends, but sometimes we don't make the most of the inbetween. We exhaust ourselves to a point where when we get home, we collapse on the sofa with enough food to feed a small village & binge watch tele until our eyes are square. If that's your passion then obviously, crack on! but if it's not & there is something you enjoy, even if it's something as minor as doing a puzzle? then do it, refind your passions, throw yourself into them, focus your mind on something other than everyday routine.

Just do something for you.

STEP THREE - Rid Yourself of Poison!

This is the main one! This boils down to the most emotional involvements in our lives. People. Relationships mainly. Either intimate or friendships. So lets discuss...

Welcome to the 21st century & welcome, Situationships.

Our generation, sadly, is made up of people who are terrified of commitment, terrified of the idea of being hurt or vunerable but still crave the attention & idea of 'love'.

This we can understand of course, relationships are scary things.

However, if you do ever find yourself in one of these 'situationships' then as hard as it may be - the right option is to bow out. This includes both guys & girls. It's not a pity party for women, as we are just as capable of playing the same games.

I have watched so many friends be in this scenario. Infact, I myself am guilty of playing a part in this new found relationship status.

But honestly? No, just no.

Know your worth. If someone cannot make the time for you or make it clear to you of their emotions then don't waste your time in conjuring up reasons as to why/how it could work. It doesn't matter how much you like them. They may be a really nice person & just a little screwed up. You may make each other feel special for a moment, in that moment... but, hindsight?

Does that help you? It may satisfy you for a short period but what about the long term? Are you going to allow yourself to be dragged into the idea that maybe one day, you will both sit down and say 'Hey, you know what, I like you, let's make this a thing?'.

Answer: You Shouldn't.

Life isn't a fairytale, let's be realistic. But, there are thousands of people in this world that you are yet to meet & one of them would be willing to try & give you that fairytale ending. We should never be willing to settle for anything less than that.

You can try to give someone the world but if their offering 'Netflix & Chill' & an arsy attitude when you question why they hooked up with someone else an hour later, then find your friends & bail.

So, I go back to a previous statement, YOU alone are good enough. If this person still has to question why you are worth having more with, then the reality is, you're worth more than their needs. It may be scary, the idea of being alone - but isn't better to be alone than to have to constantly question what you mean to someone?

This isn't just about relationships either - this is about the friend circle you surround yourself in, if you're feeling as though the people your connected with are not 100% behind you, then rid of yourself of it. Life is a hard enough place without allowing yourself to degrade your worth for others satisfaction.

Be strong & make those changes, take out the trash & start over.

STEP FOUR - Replace 'What If' with 'Why Not!'

'What If' is part of my daily thought pattern. It's a killer. Anyone with anxiety knows how mind numbing these two words can be.

What are we afraid of? Is it change? failure? vulnerability or embarrassment?

These things are all possible. But, so what? If you're faced with a scenario, switch up - change your mindset to 'why the fuck not?' What is the worst that could happen? I mean if all goes wrong, then that's okay. You can then look back knowing that you faced whatever it may be head on & have no regrets & if you do have regrets? Then again, so what? At least you'll never sit there thinking, why didn't I try?

If there is something that you are wanting to do but fear the outcome, then take it from someone who knows procrastination all to well - just go for it. Don't allow yourself to conjure up any form of threat. Just put yourself out there, it's exhausting being scared all the time.

So laugh it off. You'll feel much better for it!

STEP FIVE - BREATHE!

Honestly, one of the most important pieces of advice i've been given. When you hit your 20's, you are expected to have more of a grasp on your life I suppose, though the reality in which this ever happens, is rare. It's okay not to know what you're doing or where you're going so long as you have ambition & a willingness to get there eventually.

Things may not be perfect in your life right now, but whatever right? Breathe.

We're human & we do the best we can. As mentioned; YOU ALONE ARE GOOD ENOUGH. It doesn't matter what everyone is doing, or what their journey is about. Do what is right for you. If that means letting go of a complicated relationship, do it. If it means finally grasping at a chance to do something new, do it. Christ if it means, fucking the world off for a little while & receeding into your own little bubble just refind yourself then DO IT. But breathe. Life is terrifying & constantly updating itself, so join in!

Update yourself, rid yourself of the worry & fears that you may not accomplish or may not be good enough, because you are. 

It's not going to be an overnight success & these are things that i've learnt recently, that i'm actually trying to listen to myself. It does take time, but each individual will get to where they need to be in the long haul, so have faith, have fun & fill your world with good memories.

Stop giving so much of a shit, because sometimes life is a lot more fun that way. 

XO