At the
beginning of 2015, I made it one of my new year resolutions to keep a blog and
like many of those resolutions, it died out pretty quickly. Yet, here I am
entering 2017 with the same resolution, and a half hearted hope that I'll make some kind of feeble attempt to actually stick to it this time
around.
For those
of you that may read this, this is not a way to sugar coat 2016, this is not a
means to create my own pity party. This is a summary of this year in it's
entirety, raw and unpolished. It's the good, the bad and the incredibly ugly.
2016 has
been a bit of a shit show, if I'm speaking honestly. But, in some ways, I have
a bizarre form of admiration for it. A year that girls went contouring crazy,
'situationships' ruled the dating scene, the grim reaper was in full force, UK
gave us Brexit and USA allowed a manchild to run its country. It's been a year
that had a real hunger for chaos that has left some of us feeling a little bit
withered to say the least.
For
myself, 2016 broke me, it broke me so actually, I could fix me.
And
here's the thing, 2 years ago; if some one where to have said that I'd pack up
and piss off to the other side of the world and do the journey alone, I would
have most certainly called bullshit and laughed at them hysterically. However,
despite being the worlds most dramatic and anxious human being, I can't laugh
because that is exactly what I did.
As of
October 2016, I left my home to begin a new life in New Zealand and so far,
here is what I can tell you.
Most
days, I wake up, sit on a balcony that overlooks clear skies and a beautiful
beach and I can't help but smile at the idea of how many of my loved ones would
be chomping at the bit to say, 'I told you so'. They were all right, New
Zealand is beautiful and I now understand why my parents chose to come here. I
also know deep down, it was and is the best choice I could have made, despite
it all coming with a price.
Some days
though, it's hard, really fucking hard.
When you
make changes as big as this, you have to face demons and that's not always fun.
You're almost forced to face your past, your regrets and your grievances.
There's no way to shy away from it and you will inevitably, be left with scars.
For myself, this year brought a lot of heart breaks, a lot of moments where I
thought I'd never get back up. It gave me clarity about the true characters of
some that I respected most and a realisation that blood is not always thicker
than water. It made me give up trying to please those who could not be pleased
and above all, it made me, rather, forced me to leave my comfort zone.
2016, for
most, was a big fucking joke. That being said, storms don't last forever. It
should also be a year where we see it out with a big middle finger and a mind
motivated enough not to relive it. There will be ups and downs in 2017, sure.
It's how the world works but I think for this new year, it's high time we all
live a little more selfishly. Coming from someone who gets nervous leaving the
house most days, all I can advise you is that, if there is a dream you wish to
pursue, I promise you, you can do it. I never in a million years thought I'd be
able to stray far from my comfort zone yet, I'm here in NZ trying to grasp hold
of an entirely new way of life.
In truth,
I could have stayed and attempted to work with the fragments of my life in the
UK, part of me wanted to.
But, I didn't and I don't regret it.
I haven't
found my feet just yet, but as I turn 24, I'm ready to grow up a little and go
into the world on my own to try and figure out 'lifes path' and I hope that
most of you, whether you had a great year or a truly terrible year, you'll all
join me in attempting to make 2017 memorable, for the right reasons.
So here's
to you 2016, nice try, you've been a real sport, see you never.
